I teach Elementary 5th and 6th graders, and the things that come out of their mouths are both wonderfully unexpected and hilariously accurate…
*During a Morning Activity*
Student 1: Teacher, Obama is my grandfather!
Me: Oh, he is?!
Student: Yes! You, me…COUSINS!
*Pointing to the Statue of Liberty*
Me: “Who is this?”
Student: “Freedom Girl!”
*During Lab we were teaching the kids about the fact that pounds (used to measure weight in America) and kilograms (used to weigh in Korea) are the same*
Me: They are the same, one number is just smaller measurement. For example, I am 54 kilograms in Korea, but 120 pounds in America.
Whole class: *astonished WOAH’s all around*
Boy next to me: *turns to me in absolute wonder, proceeds to look me up and down then stares me straight in the face* WOAH! Teacher…120?!
Me: Yes! *Glad he is understanding*
Boy: Wow…SO HEAVY!
*Trying to April Fool’s prank my Gifted Students today*
Me: Class…Teacher is getting married!! *Shows off fake ring*
Girls: Wow Teacher, congratulations!!
Boy in the back: Oh God, FINALLY!!!
Me:…But I’m not. I was kidding!
Boy: Oh…but teacher?
Me:…yes…?
Boy: When are you going to have babies? You will get old!
Me: “Does anyone know what state I’m from in the United States?”
Student: “Jamaica!”
(They then proceeded to say “Ya man!” for the rest of the week every time they saw me)
The day one of my kids called me ‘Sexy Chocolate’…
*At the end of our first class, I told my students they had 5 minutes to ask me anything*
Student 1: Teacher, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don’t have one…*pretend sad face*
Student 2: What do you miss most about the United States?
Me: BBQ!
Student 3: …so Teacher, you don’t have boyfriend?
Me: Haha, no!
Student 3: …Teacher?
Me: Yes?
Student 3: …what’s your phone number?
Me (Now dying laughing): I can’t give you my phone number, I’m your teacher!
Student 4: …But you said you don’t have boyfriend…
Me: …No.
Me: “What do you call the people who eat at a restaraunt?”
Student 1: “Hungry people!”
Me: “Yes, they are hungry! But what do you CALL them?”
Student 2: “RICH!”