Making the Most of My Time in France
As my third week is coming to an end, I have some journaling to do. My thoughts are really disorganized. It’s been a long week. Sorry bout it.
A fault I have is constantly looking at the future… for example, I at one point was counting the days to come to France. Now I’m counting the days to know which colleges I’m accepted to. After that I will be counting the days to graduate. Counting the days for college. Counting the days for graduation again. And then, one day, I’ll finally have that good job, that apartment with my own furniture, I’ll finally have “gotten to where I want to be”… and then what?
Life is really such a cool thing. Life can be whatever you choose it to be. I feel like when we are young, in high school, living with our parents, we feel like life is out of our control…”Oh well I didn’t get good grades so I can’t go to that college” “I’m never going to get out of this town” “Ugh I’m never allowed to do anything” “I can’t wait to get a real job and buy a house and have freedom” “If I don’t get into college I’ll never do anything with my life” These are all things I’ve thought, and tons of people I know have thought too. But now, I’m here. In another country, living with a family I met like 3 weeks ago, going to a school spoken in French, walking in this new city 3,000 miles from home. And I’m 17. 17 and I’ve thought to myself before “What if I stay in Boone forever” “I just want to skip my 20s and have my life start already” Like HELLO! Life has started. And there are so many adventures to be had and places to see and people to meet and languages to learn and qualities to gain.
It’s amazing, this experience; and not in a glamorous way, but in the fact that every single day I get up, take a breather, and have to tell myself that I will make the day a good one, it will be a day of learning and progress and friendships and new experiences. Every single day I have to have faith in myself and in my purpose of being here. I have to remind myself to make the most of my time here, how if I let it, it will change me now, and impact my future.
If I’ve realized anything so far, it’s that counting the days does nothing special. Time goes by at the same pace, every day, every night, all year long. I don’t want to be constantly looking for what comes after what comes next. I want to focus on the present, be ambitious for the future, and allow life to do its thing.
Part of me craves home, and yet I know that I don’t want to be home, doing the same things, going to the same places, over and over like I have been my whole life. I think senioritis also translates to seventeenitis. Because at this point, me and all of my peers are looking at the next 9 months that will transition us into a new beginning. If I was home, all I would be doing is counting down the days to finally ‘start my life’. But I’m so very lucky because instead, I’m in France. And while the pace of the days go by the same as at home, it feels like my “life” has already started. I’ve already stepped out of high school-even if I will step back in WHS in 4 months and 1 day (to be exact)! Here, I’m growing as a person, I’m experiencing something extravagant as opposed to my routine I’ve had for years.
And it’s hard to remember that. It really is. But I’m forced to take life day by day, to see the good and the positive in everything; because if I don’t, I won’t make the best out of my time here, and my time will be wasted.
Every single morning I say “Just try your best” And every single day, I try.
