The Hardest Lesson…

They say that patience is a virtue, I don’t know who “they” are but I’m pretty sure “they” have never had to wait for something or be patient for an extended period of time. If I have learned nothing else in my life so far, I have learned that I’m not always the most patient person. It’s hard for me, I wouldn’t call myself a planner, but I do like to know what’s going on. One of the hardest lessons for me is patience, the ability to let go and see what happens.  Patience for me is a lot easier said then done. I, like anyone else, can talk a big game about how I’m go with the flow and open minded, but at a certain point I have noticed that sometimes patience doesn’t get me anywhere. I at times associate patience with weakness, which I know I shouldn’t, but for me weakness and strength are two sides of the same coin. Being overly patient can make you seen complacent and uninterested, but having no patience makes you come off as pushy and inflexible, it’s hard for me to find that happy medium sometimes. I know for myself, my patience level varies on the situation, person, event, etc. but over all I know that it is something I will always have to work on. I can definitely say I have come a long way, I thought I had come further, but sometimes life throws your confidence back in your face to humble you. Patience, I have found is something that in the end can only be learned from experience. Looking back at things that I got worked up about in the past now seem so petty, but at the time I was distraught over not knowing where I was in a relationship or where I was going to go to school, or even what exactly I would be doing after graduation. The unknown can be just as scary as it can be beautiful. “They” also say that hindsight is 20/20 which must be true, because I look back at just a few months ago, worrying about visa’s and would I actually make it to Thailand and here I am, living in this crazy and beautiful country for a month (as of today!) Sometimes it’s hard to let go and just trust in the idea that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you just have to know that you tried your best, you put your all in and in the end, whatever happens you know you did all you could do, and you can feel safe in the fact that everything then worked out the way it was supposed to.