The Hardest Part

I was staring at the ceiling in darkness when I first noticed it, the lump in my throat. Then my stomach began to turn and the words crossed my mind involuntarily, God, please give me the strength and courage to do this. I’m so scared.

Some say that the hardest part of any journey is deciding to go. I politely disagree. Anyone can decide to go somewhere, and then change his or her mind very easily. I think the hardest part is getting on the plane. You wander down the hallway that feels infinitely long until you finally step into the plane. You find your seat, strap in, and stare out of the oval window. The plane begins to move faster and faster until you feel your stomach drop and you’re not on the ground anymore. It’s in that moment when the wheels and the pavement part that you’ve truly departed, commenced your journey. There’s no changing your mind, no deciding not to go. You’re already gone. The hardest part is over.

Tomorrow I am getting on a plane. I won’t play it cool and pretend to be perfectly fearless. I am not, in fact, I am terrified and excited all at once. The business of journeying is quite a scary and simultaneously amazing thing, after all. It takes leaving behind your home, loved ones, and all things familiar and comfortable for the unknown. I believe it is worth these sacrifices because journeys can change you like little else can. It will be a brilliant adventure and an unbelievable challenge, but above all it will be worthwhile.

Tomorrow I’ll cry a little (or a lot…lol) and hug my family goodbye. I’ll still be scared, but I’ll go anyway because maybe in any situation in life the hardest part is not making a decision. It’s recognizing that you’re scared and doing it anyway, not deciding to do it, and not saying you’ll do it. It’s actually doing it.