BOGOTA, COLUMBIA – Sources are reporting that early Friday morning, the citizens of Colombia collectively threw their hands in the air, and said “Screw it”.
Colombia (which will be referred to by its new spelling from here on out) has officially given up and finally adopted the name Columbia. After growing tired of constantly correcting people, the country voted today to throw in the towel and embrace the U.
Native Columbian Maria said, “I study abroad in the United States, and get so tired of correcting my friends, I decided to adopt this spelling years ago.” Sipping a coffee in the Columbia University Cafeteria in New York City, sporting a brand new Columbia jacket, she continued, “It just made it easier to streamline the two names. A few of my Columbian friends decided to jump on board and now it’s official!”
The spelling has caused a lot of confusion and problems for American travelers. Californian, Bill Bradley, spent the past year teaching English in Columbia, South Carolina because of a spelling mistake he make booking a flight in Kayak: “I didn’t even realize I wasn’t in a different country. All the signs of being a foreigner were there: I didn’t understand the locals when they spoke, the food was totally different, etc. I thought ‘y’all’ was a Spanish word.”
Citizen ambassadors in support of this change are Steve Harvey and Ariadna Gutierrez, Miss Columbia. “I like the way my lips are pursed when I pronounce the U”, Says Gutierrez. “Had we made this change beforehand, I would have won Miss Universe.”
Other Columbian celebrities don’t necessarily agree. “It’s waka.” says Shakira. “Totalmente loca.”
The process for change will be slow. For example, the Columbian Treasury will have to print entirely new bills and coins. But on the plus side, the unused O’s can be re-allocated to further elongate the excitement when soccer star, James Rodríguez, scores his next goooooooooooooooooooooooooal.
APRIL FOOLS!! This has been a parody article intended to raise awareness that a lot of people spell Colombia incorrectly! It’s actually very important to Colombians that their country is spelled correctly. There is a relatively big social campaign for it. Check out this CNN article from last December.
If you want to help aid the cause, check our our Teach English in ColOMbia program!